I have always wondered how I was before my accident. I can’t remember much but I know that I did a lot and accomplished a lot and I have wondered why and tonight all of the sudden I realized something.

I can remember trying things to see if I could do them and I remember being especially excited about what impact those things would have on others.

I especially remember when I was in college I used to carpool to school with a friend and this one night my instructor asked me to go and make copies of this test for the class. So of course I said yes but I had carpooled that night so I didn’t have my car. She said fine then take hers. It was a brand new Jaguar XKE, so I did. I never looked at the test at all and I never found a place to make copies either but the idea of driving her brand new car had me really stoked so I drove as much as I could.

So I thought about things really hard tonight and I could somewhat remember how it felt to do something and receive other’s positive approval and how important that approval from others was to me then.

I of course have absolutely received no approval from anyone in the last 10 years but it doesn’t bother me at all. What I have noticed a lot is that God has kept me alive and very healthy. I have a very good Bible on my computer, I have nice things, I have good old friends, I have good new friends, a great Church, I live in an apartment, I have a more than wonderful roommate and He has unquestionably led me throughout all my life

So how could I complain?

Approval from others means nothing to me anymore but approval from God means everything to me and I receive it constantly.