The volume of “good” that I do means nothing because God is good.

It’s been 10 years since my attack and I finally and gladly realize why I am the way I am (at least from my perspective).

I loved God but I had become very successful and I had let the leavening of this World take over in my life but now I can only count on God not myself.

Everything in this World is geared to leaven us as if we need to be any more than we already are in Christ…

So be careful and don’t let the leaven of this World take over in your life. The World won’t celebrate you but God will.

Unleavened Bread

In reading through Exodus 12-15 this morning I came upon the words “unleavened bread” and this occurs all through the Bible. This means bread without yeast and I thought: “Why would God repeatedly mention bread without yeast?”

And then this came to me: leaven (yeast) makes things something that they not which is just like salvation because we receive Christ’s righteousness which makes us something that we are not.

So to say: “Do not eat leavened bread” was an initial way of pointing us towards Christ and reminding us that nothing but Christ will work”.

This is a song that I’m listening to quite often so I look up the lyrics. It is called: Believe me now:
I watch you looking out across the raging water
So sure your only hope lies on the other side
You hear the enemy that's closing in around you
And I know that you don't have the strength to fight
But do you have the faith to stand and...
Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you and I am for you
So believe Me now
Believe Me now
I am the One who waved my hand and split the ocean
I am the One who spoke the words and raised the dead
And I've loved you long before I set the world in motion
I know all the fears you're feeling now
But do you remember who I am?
Do you..
Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you
And I am for you
So believe Me now
Believe it's true
I never have, I never will abandon you
And the God that I have always been
I will forever be
So believe Me now
I am the God who never wastes a single hurt that you endure
My words are true, and all My promises are sure
So believe Me now
Oh, believe Me now

I just realized that when I grew up although we attended Church a lot no one ever helped me to understand that God is real.

God was someone to obey but not real. We were to obey His word and if it was like the current times then fine.

So every sermon or event was about the reasons for and how to obey God but nothing about how He works in our lives.

I never thought about what God might be doing or what He might want me to do. If it was in His word and it was current then He had something to say.

So obviously I’m not with that Church anymore and I’ll never go back. Talk about deception!


God has revealed Himself to me and He is real! Nothing takes presidence over God in my life but there are some lives where things do.

One of the big changes in me is that I do not evaluate people, what they have done or where they are going to spend eternity because it’s not my job it’s God’s.

I was reading through the Bible this morning and it came to me clearly. The things that God put in His word are not just there to be stories of what has happened sure they are stories of what has happened but these are examples of what God can do anytime!

For example: The World is Egypt, as God followers we are the children of Israel and money is Pharaoh and God wants His people to freely worship Him but money has many demands on us and we can worship Him IF we have done sufficient things to make money.

God rescued the Israelites from Egypt and He WILL rescue us from the World.

The depth of your knowledge means nothing to God but the way you treat others does. Read the following:

Matt 22:36-40
36 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

37 Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself .' 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
NIV

So if you love God with all your soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself God says that you have met the law and the prophets.

Life on Earth is about you as a person and what you can do.

So the way you look is very important and the more you can do equally as important.

That is why styles are so popular and education is so key.

So humans spend so much time & money on fashions & education. But why is competing with each other such a BIG DEAL?

Our creator made us all how we are and can even give us anything that we could hope for.

Our creator made everything but I don’t recall seeing any education that will prepare anyone to do that.

Our creator doesn’t judge or require fashions or abilities, all He asks for is faith. But as humans we require much more from each other and we call it competition.

So life for humans involves winning in competition against other humans. Sorry but that really limits things. And it cuts way back on developing faith. Because while you’re trying to look the best and be the best there is little to no time for growing your relationship with God and you may be surprised at judgment.

I just was thinking about the feelings I had when I was growing up (yes, I even remembered them!).

Often I wondered about what was going on that day and I often was concerned about expectations that other people had and I was very focused on the world. When I was going up I always attended my parent’s Church but I NEVER thought about God. In fact serving God was not discussed at all.

Now I see that as a HUGE problem and my parents should have seen it then!

I made bad decisions then but I think that I make good decisions now. Boy, God has really worked with me and I am thankful.

It’s very difficult to accept when things don’t go well. There has to be some hope. Not hope in what I want or think but hope in what WILL happen in the end. That’s where faith comes in.

You can’t see, feel or experience the good side now but you know that it will come. You can’t make things ok or better now but you believe in your heart that they will be someday.

I have had to rely on my faith today. I can’t make the right things but I know who can so today I’m depending not on what I want but what God can do.

The reason that we humans are here on this Earth is to demonstrate God’s glory and the Bible says that we are “made in His image”. But this world tells us they want to see OUR glory.

Hmm…that sounds like some one else who was created as an Angel but then thrown out of Heaven because he wanted to show his glory…Satan.

So when you’re showing glory ask yourself this question: “Who’s glory is it? Yours or God’s?”

Remember Soloman? What did he pray to God for? Intelligence. Did God give him intelligence? Yes, but it came from God. God showed us that He is able to do that.

Think about this: God created the world and everything that is in it. Therefore everything begins and ends with God. Based on that no one creates anything new.

Things may be based on thoughts, ideas or brains but God created our thoughts, ideas and brains so everything is from Him.

So we may or may not make good use of what He gave us but everything is His gift to us. How we use it is up to us.

Therefore to make something special out of OUR accomplishments is to forget where we got our abilities in the first place.

In life your value is based on YOU finding the best options for everything! Therefore everything in life is based on that and education, jobs; basically your future is based on those things.

Now I understand that to function in this world you have to play that game but don’t forget that God formed you and before you were born you were valuable to Him and He’s in charge at judgment. So your future does not rely on YOU finding the best options for everything rather it relies on your Father, God’s work for you, His child!

Everyone doesn’t understand that. The whole world, pay, jobs, futures etc., are all based on that. But you have to remember that you’re already valued by God.

I had already achieved what this world said was valuable then I was injured and now I can do none of it so the easiest thing for me to do is just give up. But I’m too young to do that and I know that I’m valuable to God so what the world thinks of me doesn’t matter anymore.

I can rest in God’s view of me not the world’s.

Because I am having such a rough morning I am listening to “You Shine” and this one song called: “I am convinced” I like a lot. It says: I am convinced, no force on Earth can separate us from the love of God”. And that is what I believe. But that’s just me and someone else might not feel the same.

So that got me to thinking about faith.

Is faith believing that God exists?

No it’s more than belief in His existence because even Satan and his angels believe that. No Jesus said to deny yourself and that’s extremely hard to do.

Deciding that things just depend on you is where “hoping” and “guessing” and “crossing your fingers” come from and they don’t work. People have got to depend on God and that works.

You have got to give up control because you don’t have control-God does! It’s not your will, it’s His will.

So faith is way more than just what you see or believe. See Hebrews 11:1 for the definition of Faith.

This has NOT been a good morning. But just because things went badly does not mean that I won’t trust in God.

I do trust in Him.

I have had to find another way to get around those problems and wait.

But this day has been planned for a long time to be an important day…and it will be.

There are so many things in this life on Earth that are geared to pull us away from God and they ALL seen to be important, so we think that we MUST do them first.

I can relate to that.

When something feels important ask yourself: “Will this prohibit me from serving my God?” and if the answer is “Yes”, even for a time then don’t do it!

You have got to remember that Satan’s #1 goal is to prohibit you from serving God so he’ll do absolutely anything to get you to do it.

I have been alone & without my wife for 10 years and that hurts some but it actually hurts me more when she is mean to my sons!

I care actually more for my sons than I do for her.

Yes, she has many problems and I am thankful to have been rescued from her but she is not disabled and they are, actually we are!

She can drive and go to work but we can’t! She is working hard to arrange something that she “thinks” will be special for her future here but our future is not limited to this Earth like hers is.




She actually takes her anger out on her own disabled son and continually verbally makes him feel: like a failure, less than anyone else and so depressed that he has a doctor appointment!

In addition to that she is being very mean to me. And I can deal with that but what I can’t deal with is when she is mean to her own son!

Shortly he will come here to live with me and get away from his mother.

So please pray for him because he’s very depressed. I am trying to help him some but he needs some prayer.

Now that I look back on things they make much more sense.

My sister and I talked a lot about being away from my parents and we even tried it a couple of times.

My favorite book series was: “The Boxcar Children”. It was about some children who ran away and lived in some cars on a train and I really appreciated their experiences. It never crossed my mind that there was a reason for that.

At 52 I can only look back at things-that’s al. I can only wish that things had been different or that someone had said something.

It’s not too late because judgment is still coming.

As humans we believe only what we can see but God explains what He wants:
Heb 11:1
1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
NIV
So God is expecting us to believe what we cannot see. Hmm that’s very different from what we as humans believe. And many of us believe only what we can see.

How many people have ever seen God the Father? None.

Is God the Father real? Yes He is.

How many people have ever seen God the Holy Spirit? None.

Is God the Holy Spirit real? Yes.

It sounds like we, humans should adjust our belief system to faith and not sight.

There is nothing in this life that we can trust in life. Nothing. People or things may be trustworthy at times but not always.

But in this life God is trustworthy all the time! He created us and He cares about us!

So often when things don’t go well it’s nice to just relax and know that God will do the best. It may not be what you as a human think but it will be the best.

I have written a book on disabilities that focuses on Christians with disabilities. So far I have written my part but there are other parts that I have requested from others and I am still waiting on those.

It will be published as both an E book and a printed book and while it will address disabilities in general it will focus on my disability because I know mine the most specifically. It will also address a Bible view because Societies view and the Bible’s are quite different, and I want for people to realize what they’re doing.

Everyone is always searching for that ‘one thing’ on which they can base anything on so that they will know that they are doing the ‘right’ thing and things like fame fortune & position, etc. are all combined to say that you have a future.

But as Christians our ‘one thing’ is God so things like fame, fortune, position & etc. have nothing to do with our future. Future is way beyond this World and fame, fortune, position & etc. only have application to this World so they are limited.

Don’t limit yourself to this World!

Tonight I watched people spending huge amounts of cash on things that God had created or taught them how to make and for me it just seemed strange.

No one ever gives God the credit but God created Nature. People are so intent on seeing things as a measure of what THEY have done but God is never mentioned and the more cash the better. Value is calculated based on cash and not on faith.

Someone like me can never do anything of cash value because I am disabled but I do have faith. So with faith I am able to see things a lot differently than many people do. For me value is calculated on faith alone and faith means more than what you may do and believing you can do it.

Normally I’m talking to you about stuff that I want for you to think or feel or do but this time it’s my turn to think, feel & do!

One of my sons is being faced with some extremely difficult decisions that he has no control over. I can evaluate if I can help him or just let it go.

Letting it go is by far the easiest thing to do and if I’m just relying on me than the choice is pretty obvious but I can’t do that! I have to rely on God. I have to consider what, as a Christian, is the right thing to do and to do so I can’t just base my decision on things that I know or have been done by other humans, I must follow the things that God has told me.

So I have begun that process.

Will it work?

I don’t know but I have faith.

Look at what I can do!

This is the way people develop in this World.

But they seem to forget that God is involved in their lives since before they were even in their mother’s womb, and He knows all about their entire lives before they are even born!

So what you can do is old news to Him, in fact what you can do was developed by Him!

This World has a negative habit of making people think that what they have done is because of their efforts alone (totally neglecting what God has done) so that people become proud of themselves which is very different from just being thankful.

We’re not just here by chance God forms & develops us so it’s ok to be thankful. It’s not you it’s Him! So it really should be: Look at what God did!

Jesus and the apostles were in a boat one time and a storm came up. Jesus was sleeping and the storm and the waves got so bad that the apostles got scared and woke up Jesus. With just words He calmed the storm. The apostles were shocked and God put it in the Bible.

So what can we learn?

That nothing takes presidence over God. Nothing.

But human people today are often just like the human apostles. Things happen, people say things and they get scared so they look for the option that they know best and act on that instead of talking to God.

That’s where loving your neighbors as yourself comes in.

God said to do it but people often write it off for reasons that they feel are valid and God’s commandment is ignored.

But as Christians we can change that.

Bad things may still happen just as the storm just got worse but God will prevail.

So the next time that something comes up or you don’t like something ask yourself if doing what seems normal to you is doing God’s commandment about loving your neighbor.

If the apostles had done that they wouldn’t have woken up Jesus.

I read a book called: A New Kind Of Christian and it got me to thinking.

No, I didn’t agree with the whole book but it got me to thinking: Why did Jesus come to the Earth? How could God forgive us when we hadn’t even been born yet?

Then I read this verse: Gal 5:14
14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
NIV

And I can remember what it was like for me before…

Before I found Jesus there were of things to upset me – and they did! Then I found Jesus and those things disappeared. Then the things of the world got in my way and those things came back!

So for me the entire law wasn’t summed up in a single command. I was not loving my neighbor because I was just out for myself.

And I can pretty clearly imagine that many people aren’t loving their neighbors either. Let me explain.

Driving to Church today, did anything upset you?

Did anyone sing poorly?

Did you agree with the message?

Were you able to leave with no hassles?

I’m pretty sure that not everything pleased you, and since it didn’t were you able to love your neighbor as yourself? I don’t imagine that you did.

That is Satan’s game, and if he wins then you lose.

Think about this: I was a completely different person before I was attacked. Very accomplished, educated & wealthy. Now, I am very handicapped, no one cares about my education, very poor and very often bored but God brought me back to teach me things so I could teach you those things.

Loving your neighbor is not just something that you may or may not feel inside. It is accommodating their needs as much as you would your own. You understand and accommodate yourself now you need to do it for them too!

That’s what Jesus did and He’s told Christians to do it too!

I’m a believer.

I am very handicapped.

I don’t think that God just fits into what I’m thinking or doing. I’m not saying that He doesn’t evaluate what I’m thinking or doing because He sees and knows everything so obviously He evaluates it.

I just don’t put His work down.

I don’t take His work lightly.

He is more important than I am.

God is God and I am not.

I went to the Internet to find the definition of the word miracle. I knew what it meant but I have seen and head that word used a lot and about things that weren’t about God.

And believe it or not there were many definitions on the Internet. It’s just a word now that people use for whatever they want and it has nothing at all to do with God in fact it has everything to do with humans.

Hmm…

The feeding of 5,000 & 10,000 had nothing to do with humans & everything to do with God. And there are many healings that had nothing to do with humans & everything to do with God. Raising people from the dead had nothing to do with humans & everything to do with God.

So possibly the word miracle has been redefined incorrectly.

This morning various Christian songs are playing over and over in my head and I realized that I’ve been solely interested in Christian music for over 20 years!

The topic is my topic and I physically like the music but there is more than that for me. Spiritually it is food for my soul. It’s one way that God takes care of me. And because there are many different styles it’s a way He takes care of His children.

I have just realized that I was initially very involved with God (the Trinity) and then because I had been severely abused as a child I had tried on the world’s clothing and forgotten about God, but thankfully He didn’t forget about me.

Thankful? Yes!

Will I ever try on the world’s clothing again? No!

People think that it’s extremely important that everything about how they look is pleasant but read this from Isaiah years before Christ came:

Isaiah 53:2-5
2 The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
3 He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
4 But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
5 But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
That is way different. The Father made Him just as He was and so people didn’t look up to Him, no, they looked down on Him. And Salvation came no matter how He looked.

But He wasn’t out to impress anyone, He was there to save us and He didn’t use looks to do it!

So if anyone ever questions how you look, show them this!

To think that God did all that for us should make us think harder about impressing other humans.

I hear songs, I hear people say things and I read things that I’m not saying are wrong but somehow we don’t realize how close God is to us. Read the following verse from His word:

Psalm 139:4
4 You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence.

It’s in His word so you know that it’s true.

This was a human speaking about God. He wasn’t asking if it was true he was making a statement of truth.

For God to know what were going to say before we start the first sentence He’s got to know us even better than we know ourselves!

Remember He created the Earth!

His capabilities are much more than we can know and that’s why self denial and praise is so appropriate.

The amazing part though is even with capabilities that we can’t even fathom He loves us.

I just want to make it clear that in life the ONLY good that anyone has is the good of Christ. When He came we were lost but when He left the Earth He had made a way to save us. So what you can do & how you do things doesn’t matter because all that matters is Christ.

Life in this world is such a competition. Who’s and what’s going to be the best! Everything’s a competition. The best look, the best performance, etc.

Thankfully God is not evaluating everything. He just looks for faith and He looks at the heart and not what you try or what you want just your heart.

So I don’t know what will happen and I can’t make things happen but there’s only one thing that I need to be concerned about and that is my future.

And my future is not based on money or job position it’s based on my future destination-Heaven or Hell. I know where I want to be, do you?

Every time that I read this it means more to me:

1 Cor 12:22-24
22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it,
NIV

This is talking about parts of the body of Christ and it clearly says that God has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it. And in verse 22 God says On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.

So why does Society dispose of the disabled?

Because Society is out to please itself and not God.