Since tomorrow is Halloween and you are my friends I wanted to say something to you. I know that this is a very special holiday for some but I want to remind you of something. The main theme of this day seems to be death and unusual and not common. Unfortunately this holiday comes only once a year. But we have the one who conquered death alive in us every moment of every day!



Imagine that at a Halloween party! It is if you go. No costume and no joke!

Cross

Matt 16:24
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
NIV
Take up his cross…Now what does that mean? Duh! I cannot walk so anyone else who can has the control over things and that is extremely difficult for me as a HUMAN to allow it to happen and Ataxia also does not allow me to have ANY control over simple physical things!

Now, think for a moment about Jesus. He participated in the creation of the World and the creation of mankind (just to name what I, as a human know), so I don’t know for sure, but I imagine that He knew, better than I can imagine what it feels like to be in control.

Now, He already knew that becoming a human and having to live on this Earth would be difficult to do, but He did it. And having to die on the cross is actually horrible, but I don’t know and neither do you. But to be beaten and actually nailed to a cross is clearly, fully giving up control. And then physically dying in full acknowledgment of your human disciples that you created and having to allow other humans that you made do all of the work with your dead body is clearly and totally giving up control and He said that you MUST do it too!

I cannot walk and I have Ataxia but I am actually blessed to be like I am. Because first, I’m alive, and then I live in an apartment. I make all of my food, I live fully independently, shower by myself and write to you. How? I honestly do not know, but I do know that I have fully given up control of everything to the power that raised Jesus from the dead. I am no longer in control of anything but I know, love and trust who is.

Today has been very interesting. Not good, but very interesting.

I went to bed early last night and got up very early this morning because I was supposed to be going to the beach today. When I woke up this morning, early in fact, the song: Who am I was playing on my clock radio, so I listened to the whole song.

I do like that song a lot, but I did think that’s kind of odd because that song is old…but it did begin to make some sense that it had not before.

You see, this morning I did have some serious and very unexpected and totally ugly problems. Really ugly. In fact, so ugly that I decided not to go to the beach today. Just to stay home all together.

And at first I thought Oh darn, that’s a lot to miss and I have to admit that at first, I wondered why would this happen today of all days? And when I am His child? Then the song began to make some new sense to me.

Yes, I am His child, and Yes, He is extremely powerful, but I am supposed to be dead and I’m not. And this IS life here on Earth and it will have some ups and downs but that does NOT change the fact that I am alive and He is who He is.

And I also thought Did anything really horrible happen? No! Was I without help? No! Then what’s the problem? When push came to shove there wasn’t any problem. I had made a good decision. I had gotten more than sufficient help and I had given proper notification to everyone and when I needed help, I got it. So, NO I didn’t go to the beach, but that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I am His child and brother and friend and He is my Savior and my God. Nothing has changed. I just didn’t get to do an Earthly thing, but I am ok and He is God.

More than we can ask or imagine

Eph 3:20

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,
NIV



Ok, I do have some huge trouble, but although it is difficult to realize especially in times of trouble, God is far bigger and will do more than we can ever ask or imagine.

It’s true. We’ve heard it and we have read it but until you are in my position they are just words. Good words, I’ll admit, but still just words.

Please just look at me for a moment. I’m alive, but I normally would not be. I am living in an apartment and I do most everything on my own. Should I be able to? No! But I can. Why? Well when human reality can no longer equate, it can only be God.

No matter what happens or simply does not happen (that is what we as humans cannot even begin to imagine) I am cared for by God. I have come to the point in my life that I have got to know and realize that. I have got to relax.

When I was attacked, I’m almost positive that I wasn’t immediately praying Oh dear God, please help me and keep me alive. No. but that is what happened then and it continues each and every day.

So this is far more than I could ever have asked or imagined. And let me point out the word ask. We simply just don’t realize that He’s there! Always! He knows what’s going on in us and around us. He made us! So of course He cares for and helps us. But, there’s even more to us than we can fathom!

Someday this human life will end, but our spiritual life (our likeness to God) will never end! With nothing else, that alone for us as humans is more than we can ask or imagine.

I am the recipient of a HUGE blessing!

Yes, I am very human but I can love people just because they exist! Not because of who they are right now, or where they do or do not go to Church, or what they have done or might do. No, God created them in His image and that’s all that’s important.

Now, remember that I am a normal human so there are times when people are not lovable and I do get hurt but that doesn’t change the fact that God created them. It may not be a good idea for me to continue to be around them but that’s ok. We are human and our relationship with God is not in question. Our relationship with some humans is in question but our relationship with God is not.

I am not responsible for how others feel. They make their choices, I don’t, and if I choose to like it, that’s up to me.

So now life is so much easier for me!

My power is made perfect in weakness.


Today was a hard, hard day. Not as one would expect, I took the day off from Church and fully concentrated on trying to make some sense out of an extremely serious problem. Well, did I? No, I didn’t. I just determined that the problem was even more humongous than I had originally suspected. I honestly just could not figure out how I was going to be able to win.

But I had forgotten that Jesus had told Paul: My power is made perfect in weakness.

Did He say “Stronger”? No. Did He say “Full”? No. Did He say “Wonderful”? No, He said complete,

So while I thought that I was doing good things and definitely better things than most and He was definitely very close to me, obviously it was because I was weak. Because His power was definitely perfect.

The last time that I looked it was 7:25 A.M. and I have just realized something that is tremendous for us as humans. And, if we realize this then it makes life incredibly simple!

I used to think I’m surprised, but I can do this. And I’ll bet that many of you are the same way. I was always surprised and very confident.

That’s what the world teaches you and constantly reinforces.

But, according to the world and it’s best knowledge I should be dead or at best a vegetable. But I’m not! Why? That’s a good question because it makes absolutely no sense.

Because we exist at all because we mere made by God. A real God who has real power. And everything happens because He allows it to.

So, yes I was a genius and I had many accomplishments but they ALL were given to me. They weren’t my knowledge OR accomplishments (my personal successes) at all, they were gifts that had been given to me by the Godhead.

The fact that I am alive at all is all of the proof that I need, but I could go on and on and on.

I feel the need to tell you this. In my early years I was a part of a religion where it was up to you to decide whether you were right or wrong but I don’t feel that’s correct any more. It’s up to the Lord. He’s the judge, not I.

But sometimes when I say things the old habit take’s over and it becomes an issue of whether or not I’m right and that is just not the case. Oh yes, I’m human and I’m 50 years old so old habits do die hard.

So this is a formal apology and a thank you for being patient with me.