Cross

Matt 16:24
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
NIV
Take up his cross…Now what does that mean? Duh! I cannot walk so anyone else who can has the control over things and that is extremely difficult for me as a HUMAN to allow it to happen and Ataxia also does not allow me to have ANY control over simple physical things!

Now, think for a moment about Jesus. He participated in the creation of the World and the creation of mankind (just to name what I, as a human know), so I don’t know for sure, but I imagine that He knew, better than I can imagine what it feels like to be in control.

Now, He already knew that becoming a human and having to live on this Earth would be difficult to do, but He did it. And having to die on the cross is actually horrible, but I don’t know and neither do you. But to be beaten and actually nailed to a cross is clearly, fully giving up control. And then physically dying in full acknowledgment of your human disciples that you created and having to allow other humans that you made do all of the work with your dead body is clearly and totally giving up control and He said that you MUST do it too!

I cannot walk and I have Ataxia but I am actually blessed to be like I am. Because first, I’m alive, and then I live in an apartment. I make all of my food, I live fully independently, shower by myself and write to you. How? I honestly do not know, but I do know that I have fully given up control of everything to the power that raised Jesus from the dead. I am no longer in control of anything but I know, love and trust who is.