Rom 12:2-6
2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.

3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4 Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.
NIV

What we are is in accordance with the grace given to us. God is in charge much more than it is thought by most. So once you’ve come to Him and denied yourself letting Him take over with grace then it doesn’t depend on you anymore because you have died with Christ and now it’s up to Him.